The other day, I was chatting with friends and we got on to the subject of my health, and the question arose as to which medical disorder I have is the worst to deal with. After thinking about the answer I honestly had to say I don't know. Before my brain surgery it would have been the tremor. If I am symptomatic with kidney stones it would be the cystinuria. At the moment it is the CIDP. And don't forget the depression that sits over them all like a catalyst of disaster.
So which one is worse? Plain and simply, I can't answer that as they all have their moments, and it is also the reason you can't tell someone that there are people worse off than them. Whatever situation you are in will always seem like the worst possible case. But that can be used as a positive.
When you are feeling sick it occupies all of your available thought which you can channel one of two ways. First, you can focus on all the negatives and intensify how crappy you feel, or you can try to channel that energy into trying to fix yourself. I have been on both sides of the fence, and I can guarantee you that the latter is preferable.
But, when you are there, you have to focus on getting better. You can do that in a number of different ways, but that is a different story and another post. Being reminded of all the people worse off than you just pushes you onto the wrong side of the fence. When you are sick it is a time to be selfish. A time to focus on yourself and not to worry about others. If you want to help others, do it when you are better. I'll use the metaphor of the airplane in crisis. Fix your own mask before helping others. You are no good to anyone if you are out of action.
I have to say though that the conversation that inspired this post was a very interesting one that bore a lot more questions to answer. But isn't conversation one of the treasures in life? For all that has gone wrong with my health there are still many things I can enjoy. Stay well:)
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