Where is my head at?

You know, I find it hard to admit that right now with just a week to go until my surgery that I almost can't focus on anything else. This is now my last week at work for six months. I have plenty to do, but I still find myself constantly thinking about the surgery. Even when I start to focus on another task, I find that my mind eventually slips back to the surgery. I guess this is normal though.

Ironically, there is an upside. With nearly 100% of my focus on the surgery, I actually feel less stressed. "Huh?" I hear you say. And I can't blame you, but let me explain. Focusing on the surgery has meant that I have found I have had no stress from anywhere else. I find I get a lot of stress from the many places, including work, house and home, marriage, kids, finances etc. But it is hardest for me to deal with them when they are all compounding on you at once. Strangely, these stresses have not disappeared, but merely seem irrelevant compared to the surgery.

This does become a problem, as these stresses that do not feel important actually are. So although I haven't been worried about them, I have had to try and take care of them anyway. It's tough. I some respect I feel like I have felt like this to a lesser extent for a while, so I have let a few things get away from me. But once the surgery is over, these things will still be there so I have to address them now. Just because they don't feel important now, doesn't mean they won't in the future.

Right now, there is one more day at work, then I have intragam treatment, then I am fully in surgery mode. I plan on spending the short time between then and the surgery with my wife and kids. For the next few weeks I will be writing the blog more as a diary than a guide to living as a patient. Until next time, stay well:)