In 2006, I finally had an unofficial diagnosis from my neurologist, and she referred me to a psychiatrist for an official diagnosis and treatment. Realistically my recovery started then. Just knowing that it wasn't normal to feel this way, and that I wasn't alone, and that there were treatments available. It was a really important step. It got me off rock bottom and the strength to go a little bit further.
However, I then stagnated for a bit. I went and saw the psychiatrist, and I have to say he wasn't much help to me. His appointments were only fifteen minutes long, and his initial diagnosis came from a questionnaire I filled more than the actual consultation. After that his only recommendation was anti-depressants. I resisted the treatment partly because I didn't like him and also because I felt (and wrongly so) that the only people on these drugs were psycho cat ladies and suicidal teenagers.
Eventually I relented though and lucky thing too as the anti-depressants were an integral part of my recovery. But the drugs were by no means a cure. They stopped me from feeling the dark, dark lows, but they didn't make me feel good. I was still lethargic and procrastinated a lot, and I certainly wasn't looking forward to anything, no matter how much fun it was.
Realising I wasn't going anywhere I decided to talk with my GP. From here, he took over my treatment from a medication point of view, and referred me to a psychologist who would treat me therapeutically. This was a positive step for me as I was starting to take charge of my own treatment, but I still had the line share of the work to do.
In hindsight I don't think I was ready to see a psychologist, but I needed to do it anyway. I think I needed time to get used to talking to someone about me, and not just the good parts, but everything. It was very confronting, and as a result I steered the conversation in areas I didn't mind talking about and ended just telling him what I thought he wanted to hear. Looking back it seems like a colossal waste of time, but realistically, it was a very important step.
Eventually I stopped seeing him and I went for a follow up consultation with my GP. After that, things really started to get interesting and better, and although I hate to keep you all in suspense that story is for my next post. Until then, stay well:)
If you think you may be suffering from depression, go and see your GP. They will be able to assess you and point you in the right direction to get help. If you don't feel ready to see someone yet, type "depression help" into google and that will give you a list of resources you can use for help. In Australia, Beyond Blue is a great place to start for help. There website is:-
www.beyondblue.org.au
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