2011 in Review

Given all I've been through in my life, 2011 might have seemed like a fairly light year from a medical stand point.  I mean if you think about it, the year before I had brain surgery and next year I will hopefully be having a stem cell transplant.  From the outside looking in this year has paled in comparison.

But when you are inside, you do not necessarily see everything but you sure feel it.  And honestly, I think that one thing makes 2011 a massive year for me.  It is the year I feel I conquered my depression.  Five years ago, the best I could possibly feel was numb, at worst, there would be a whole cocktail of negative emotions.  Anger, sadness, helplessness to name but a few.

Now I am experiencing a whole range of emotions.  I still feel the negative ones sometimes, but that is OK.  Part of being human is to feel negative emotions from time to time, but I also feel the good ones.  I feel the positives in life, and as a result I actually look forward to and enjoy so much more.  I am constantly having ideas and the drive to put them in to practice.  If I was still depressed I would never have got off my derriere, found support groups for my conditions, found out about SCT and got myself on the trial.

Although I have won the war, I have to be aware that the demon is not slain and vanquished never to return.  He is merely locked away in a deep dark dungeon.  Escape is possible, and although at this current time unlikely, I still have to be constantly vigilant and aware.

So what else happened in this 'light' year?  There were 13 admissions to the day oncology ward at Cabrini hospital to receive IVIG, 2 hospitalisations for kidney stones at Epworth Eastern and Cotham Private, 1 trip to Box Hill Emergency (for a cut finger of all things, see I'm a Clutz!!!!!) and countless trips to various doctors and x-rays, CT scans, ultrasounds, blood and urinalysis and other fun tests.  Mixed in with this were a bunch of other stuff like physio, chiro, occupational therapist, PT and yoga lessons.  And who said being sick wasn't a full time job?

So last year for me was not 'light'.  But when it comes to my health I don't think such a thing can exist.  I have made mistakes in the past and have learnt the hard way to take my health very seriously.  I only have one body, one mind and one life.  This is not a dress rehearsal, and as long as I have these diseases, I will spend as much time as it takes working out how to beat them.  I believe that it is possible because I beat my depression.  I believe that the endeavour is worth it.  I believe I'm worth it.


Well, that is my year that was.  Next time I will write about the year that is.  What I can expect.  What I want to achieve and what could go wrong.  Until then, stay well:)