And I can't. Much of it is a genuine blank. And what can't I remember? I talking about my hospital stay in Chicago. If I didn't know any better I would say I was there for three days, not three weeks. And I got to thinking why can't I remember? As I'm currently drawing on my experiences as a patient to write my book, not remembering doesn't serve me very well. And it's not just my Chicago stay, I struggle to remember most of my hospitalisations.
And I do have some theories. First, the drugs they give you can have a side effect of memory loss. Anaesthetics, analgesia and sedatives, which are all administered regularly in hospital can all cause temporary amnesia. But there are some big gaps here and I cannot attribute all my forgetfulness to this.
Second, I think that as people we remember what is memorable and hospitals are boring. Really boring. When the highlight of your day is the doctor coming round to visit you clearly know it's not like a trip to Disney Land. So maybe it is not a case of forgetting, just not committing the experience to memory in the first place.
Lastly, and I think this one makes the most sense, we forget because we don't want to remember. The mind is a powerful tool which is subject to stress and hardship just like our bodies. And like are bodies try to heal themselves, so do our minds. And how they do it? By exercising the bad memories.
I don't know if it is just me who suffers from this or everyone. I also don't know which theory is correct, or whether it is something else or a combination. All I know is that I struggle to remember. And that is probably a good thing. After all, who wants to remember stuff like that? Stay well:)